Ntokozo

Hey everyone! Wow, I’ve missed you!Camp is finished! (sigh) The planning and late hours that had consumed my life for the months of July and August is over! Although a sense of relief goes through my body when I think about it, I get excited thinking of all the young friends I had made and hope to see again at Teen Club meetings. A little less than 100 campers went through our 2 week long camp. Each teen had been disclosed to about their HIV positive status. Our camp leadership team (4 of us representing organizations like Young Heroes, EGPAF, and Baylor) worked night and day prepping and training for the upcoming adventure and getting people ready for our 3 ½ week absence. As time lead up to camp, I was being challenged emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. I don’t know if it was a sense of homesickness (both the US and for the home I had made in the rural areas that I had left in order to begin work with Baylor Clinic in the capital), exhaustion, unfamiliarity with…everything, or stress of time and over commitment that left my days long. A lot of my friends around me from the past two years were heading back to the USA and some of my local friends were going through personal hardships, all of which came at once. I wasn’t sure if I could handle 3 weeks of no sleep once camp season rolled around, but I can honestly say camp came at the exact time I needed it.


(above: We was "the head" inside a box during an evening box skit. People would look under boxes on a table and yell to the audience what was under the box. My head was in one of them. People would flip out and in some cases, chuck the box back at my face because they got scared. hahah ouch.)


Whether it was when I was dressed up in rubber gloves and BO smelling blankets guarding a rubber chicken for an hour in 90 degree heat before being tied to the ground by 11 year old boys or maybe it was while I was doing the “Cha Cha Slide” with a cafeteria staff, but camp gave me clarity. Although there were many great moments, let me tell you about the 2 things that filled my heart with joy and readjusted my hope in only a matter of weeks.

Through out the week for every meal, one of the teens would be surprised by being announced as “Super Camper”. It would be their time to be recognized in front of everyone (staff and other campers) about something good they were found doing. Maybe it was holding the door open for someone or cleaning up dishes for the people sitting next to them at lunch. We start by pounding on anything we can find and singing the song “We Will Rock You” throughout the cafeteria. When a camper’s name is called, they are shocked! One time in particular was amazing. A kid wanted to be super camper so bad and worked so hard to do the right thing throughout the week. His name is Zakhele and after his parents died he was pushed around from relative to relative looking for a place to stay. He is 15 years old and sells candy to kids in school to help pay for his school fees. He has an amazing story, just like many of the others, but when his name was called for Super Camper he did something different. Usually the kids scream and run to the front to get their bracelet. Zakhele though continued to sit. We looked over at him not sure if he heard his name and just then he suddenly through his fists wide in the air, leaned his head back with his eyes closed while everyone all the kids cheered for him and he let out a big, “YESSSSSSSSSS!” It was like that was the moment he was waiting for his whole life. Once the cheers die down, we yell a chant. We had 50-60 kids/staff and cooks yelling, “Ungu Zakhele! Ungu Zakhele! Ungu soooooo Zakhele!” English: “YOU are Zakhele! YOU are Zakhele! YOU are soooo Zakhele!” Meaning something like, you are unique and special and there is no one like YOU! The camper usually just stands there beaming and soaking in all the people that are screaming, taking pictures with cardboard cameras, and cheering for them just because they were caught holding someone’s jacket while they went to the bathroom that morning. It’s PIMP!


(above: a picture of one of the kids putting up his Super Camper award on the "hall of fame" wall. note that it is really loud at this moment while people are screaming and congratualting the camper.)


For me, I tried by all means to empower staff quickly (but effectively of course haha) as being on leadership team, but I also wanted to play with the kids! Within the first few days of the second camp, I found the coolest kid ever. He was such a polite and independent little dude and always willing to help his friends. I didn’t get to hang with him as much as I would have wanted to, because he was in the boy’s cabin. We would play during all camp games, meals and fall victim to each other’s occasional “tap the shoulder and walk away” bit when passing in the hallway. We clicked. Either had the maturity of a 25 year old blonde girl or I had one of a 12 year old boy. I watched all the kids the whole week do great things for each other, but Ntokozo was unique, kind and really humble.

The last day of camp I came late into the giant circle of kids all holding hands. We were going to eat breakfast and then go pack our things to go home. I snuck in next to two girls and made myself part of the circle. I thought I saw Ntokozo out of the corner of my eye across the room with all his friends, so I was surprised when I felt his hand tap me on the back to join the circle next to me. He broke in between me and the little girl and grasped my hand tightly. He didn't look up at me to see my reaction or anything. He just held my hand tight and closed his eyes as we listened to a camper pray for the food. Once we all said “amen”, he looked up, smiled and walked back to his friends again. That kid was/is the bomb. Ntokozo loved on everyone. He managed to make people feel like their presence mattered. He did that for many people throughout the week. He would be the first kid to run and give high fives to each kid who received a super camper award, he cheered wildly for every child in games (even if he had never talked to the person before in his life), and he went out of his way to help people out. What a kid, huh? He is 12 years old and to some, he may have many good reasons to be angry with life. He was born with HIV and fights the stigma in Swaziland everyday, yet his personal stresses didn’t seem to even bother him or effect the way he treats people.

By the end of camp, it was no longer about kids coming together because they were victims of HIV. Some of our staff also had the virus. We all managed to build a safe community for two weeks where all our troubles from home or with life were gone. Not just for the teens, but even for us staff. We were teaching our kids things and our kids were teaching us things.

I can choose to see my experiences the past few months as difficult in many ways. Despite the challenges that have seemed to overwhelm me lately, how can I use them to grow rather than become stressed. Ntokozo didn’t show good character because everything was perfect in his life. Who knows of the other hardships at home he may be facing and the stigma that he struggles with from friends and family daily. He helped others because he embraced his challenges and circumstances. He chooses to be better than what life is offering him. His actions were a reflection of the person inside. I want a humble heart like Ntokozo. I told you before and I will say it again, “He is the bomb” and that's if you fold it in half. Camp was just what I needed. :)


(above: This shot was taken while all 50 campers one week chased me around a soccer field. I'm the one way to the right...the one with the white thighs. Bad day to wear a skirt I guess.)


Thanks so much for the prayers and calls from home. You guys are great and are never far from my thoughts. I now (2 years later) figured out how to text people in the US. Awesome. haha Keep your cell phones close in case you get a little surprise from south of the equator. (Sounds like slang for if you pooped your pants, but what it means is maybe I can send you a text from down here in South Africa!) Take care friends!